The Magnificent Seven (Word Wine Review) 03/30/12

You may have noticed something as of late: I haven’t been updating my beloved blog as much as I used to. The lapses have been subtle, but steady, and I admit I’ve harbored a fair amount of guilt over this sudden downward spiral of enological neglect.


Oh don’t worry, I’ve still been drinking.

Truth be told, I’ve been working on another writing project: one which demands most of my creative energy, leaving me with little time to effuse about the wines that inspire my efforts, marvelous though they may be. So how does an indolent, insolent blogger keep himself relevant when time becomes a factor? Why, he finds a shortcut, of course.

Since the dawn of time, man has loved his shortcuts: they can transform a daunting task into a manageable one, or a manageable task into something simple enough for even a child to accomplish. Speaking of which, you don’t have to pay children very much, which is great what with the recession and all. But this time, believe it or not, my solution doesn’t involve child labor!


Well, okay, maybe a little child labor…

Enter the Seven Word Wine Review (also known as the #7wordwinereview), the brainchild of the good folks over at 12× The idea is exactly what it sounds like: the distillation of wine reviews into seven words, which forces the writer to identify the quintessential elements of the wine in question, rather than mechanically exhausting his mental repository of tasting notes or regurgitating tons of irrelevant technical info. In short: when you only have seven words to describe a wine, you have to make them count. Oh, and of course, any words used to identify the wine itself (for instance, the 2010 Domaine Sigalas Assyrtiko-Athiri, a lovely, $19 Greek white from the island of Santorini) don’t count toward the seven. That would be stupid.

Below is my own attempt at a #7wordwinereview. But be forewarned: it’s terse.

2010 Domaine Sigalas Assyrtiko-Athiri: Peaches and beaches. Madness? This is salinity!


FACT: Wines from Santinori fought side by side with their Spartan brothers against the hordes of Xerxes.

Well, what do you think? Short, right? And that caption probably even counts as cheating. I guess what I’m trying to say is this: brevity may be the soul of wit, but it’s also a great way to cut straight to the soul of a wine, without forcing your audience to do all that “reading” or whatever the kids are calling it these days.

Also, you should drink more Assyrtiko. This one gets thumbs way, way up.

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