Musar Addiction: Leba-Nonfiction 03/08/12

Yo, P-Money, it’s me again. Jason. The one with the wine blog. Blog. Like a journal but for narcissists. Right.

Please man, you gotta help me out. I need my fix. It’s been days now, days since last the empyrean beauty of that 2001 Chateau Musar Rouge crossed the unworthy threshold of my lips, evoking a synaesthetic tapestry of images and sounds befitting a sprawling Arabian palace the likes of which may never have existed in reality. You’re not holding out on me, are you?

Listen, I know you’re a busy guy. But at $43 a bottle, it’s gotta be worth your while to sell these beautiful blends of Cabernet Sauvignon, Carignan and Cinsault, right? I can pay. I paid last time,
remember? I can pay again! If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all, I swear I- you want me to describe it to you? Well, I don’t really see why you’d want me to do that, but sure, I guess I could elaborate on the light, ethereal shades of maroon just begging to be ogled by onlookers, like an attractive woman walking past a stereotypical construction site, on her way to do…any number of things.


Hey, even I can get women sometimes, provided they’re hypothetical.

And then I could continue to effuse: now about the olfactory phenomenon, the aromatic miracle that is Chateau Musar. With a litany of notes that- what? You want me to write a poem? That seems a bit excessive. Are you sure you really- okay, okay! Let’s see here…

Chateau Musar Rouge 2001:
Expensive, yes, but still we had some fun.
A spicy menthol scent, with earthen musk,
Gave rise to raspberries, then chocolate dusk;
Exotic, crimson fruits caressed my tongue –
The wine was crisp and bright, though far from young.
With mint and pepper rounding out the finish,
A memory unlikely to diminish.

All right? Was that good enough? Iambic pentameter and everything. Now come on, let me buy another bottle. Just one more. I promise I won’t ask again after this. Please, man, I’ll make it worth your while, just tell me what I can- you want to know what I’m wearing? Seriously? Dude, I’m sorry, but I just don’t- oh, what I’m pairing. Yeah, I guess that makes more sense.

To be honest, I tried all sorts of things. Capicola first, then strawberries. And then gorgonzola. And then prune hamantaschen (Israel and Lebanon are over that whole war thing, right?) And then some sort of mapley, peanuty cluster. The kicker, though? All of them worked in one way or another, which in retrospect must speak more to Musar’s versatility than my personal pairing prowess.

So how about it? Can you help me out? I know you have more bottles. I saw them!


I don’t want the probably-corked one, though.

Well? What if I award the wine thumbs up? Because I will. I did, just now! See? Throw me a frickin’ bone, here.

Anyway, call me back when you get this. It’s urgent.


I have urges, you see.

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2 Responses to this article

Beau March 9, 2012 Reply

Hmm that good huh? I must seek out some of this wine.

Tranorix March 9, 2012 Reply

I didn’t get to work this in, but it reminded me of a really nice Priorat more than anything. Definitely distinctive though.

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